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This is a post that was originally posted on June 10th, 2008. Rereading it today was a great reminder for me ..it is edited for length (I am seriously wordy, but I am working on it)
Since I have determined that managing this home well, and leading those therein is my purpose and passion right now, it kinna changes how I look at the jobs I have to do here. I see my husband and my children as my most important job and responsibility.
Since I have started looking at them that way, I have started to consider what stress they are under? What stresses out the husband? What about my kids? What does their stress look like? What do I need to do to decrease all of THEIR stress levels? How does my stress effect them?
Lets start with Husbands ...
Since every one of these is different, they each would have their own triggers that causes stress. They carry so much weight with their jobs, family obligations, church obligations, financial pressure, pressure to provide, pressure to be good husbands and be Christian men in the world.
Our homes are to be their havens. Their center in the storm, their place of comfort and LEAST stress. I realize that there are alot of things that I can change to make it more so for him...
If you noticed that your being late to things causes him stress, its worth the effort to make the effort to be better about it.
If he says that having certain areas of the house out of control (the office, his closet) cause him stress, then help him to maintain a sense of order there (it may not be fair, but ...its our job)
If not having socks, underwear or other essentials available when he needs them is stressful, we need to make the effort to stay up on our laundry for his sake.
If it stresses him out to run out of deodorant, then try to make sure there is always a spare under the bathroom sink.
Arent sure what adds stress? Or are you really ready to make this a priority? Ask him. You may be surprised with his response!
With effort, and a mindset of service (and a little humility) we can make our homes havens for them, and in turn us. It speaks love to these boys to attempt to care for them, its tough but so worth it! You know your man better than anyone, so you know those things that give him a sense of "ahh, its good to be home" ...
A 10-minute nag-free break when he first gets home, before handing him his "hunny please do" list
Energy for him at the end of the day ;)
Homecooked meals, or a cookie jar full of his favorite cookie
Watching the football game with him ..oh, and asking questions.
Allowing him a guilt-free golf trip, or night out with the guys
Remember, when we manage our stress well, then we get to give it to the things and people that are the most important. Even more so, when you CHOOSE to conserve your energy for those things and people.
What I have noticed myself, is when I do focus on me decreasing his stress level, I end up doing myself a favor as well. Often, the things that cause him stress (not having the laundry caught up) also cause me stress. When I use him as a motivation, I get the benefit of a 2 for 1 deal :)
Its a wonderful cycle.
Can you confess to something that you do that causes stress, and what you can do to make it better this week? Comon, we are all in the same boat here!