Too Much?

..when is the "unavoidable" stress more than necessary for any given task or process?

I have been pondering how there are things that are simply stressful because they use resources (time, energy, effort, money) ..remember that stress happens when what we have and what we need to have is off balance.

There are processes in our days that are stressful because we are using lots of resources to make them happen.  But, at what point do you know that you are using more resources than you need to for that task or process? And, at what point do you need to reevaluate if the process is a) worth the use of resources and b) how can we rearrange our resources so that this thing isnt such a strain on what we have?

I realized this week that I use this principle alot in my life ..and I wanted to share because it is the way that I sort through properly managing my limited resources.


First, is it worthy?  ..I have talked about this before here.

This thing, task, process that we are pouring our resources into ..is it worth it at all?  Is it worth taking your time, energy, effort away from other things that are that important and worthy? No? ..then get rid of it.

It is worth it?  Yes? ..Then, we need to work on a new plan!


An area that I am really working through this line of thinking is our homeschool curriculum.

I talked about K12 the first of the year, and then I told you that I hadnt actually used the material but I wanted to share what I knew of it. Well, having used it for 6 weeks now, I can tell you it is major use of our resources. Translated, it is a major area of stress for these Steedly Boys and their mama! :)

I have applied these questions to this area of our homeschooling...is it worth the stress?

School..yes.

Teaching my children at home is worth the resources to me. Its worth the time, energy, effort and resources that I am giving to it.  I want to be doing this, and I feel it is the best thing for these particular little men that I am responsible for training.

Now ..is school in this particular way, method or process worth it? perhaps, not.

Honestly, the materials are good and the "free" is great. It is well structured, organized way to school your kiddos at home. I would encourage you to look into it more if you are looking to school your kids at home, and are ready for a challenge.

The challenge for us is not that the work is too difficult, we are aces at the work itself. But, the massive use of our time, effort and energy is disproportionate to our goals for educating Ty at home, and the resources we can best (for him, and me) give to it.

 We are required as part of an online charter school, to give 6 hours of schooling instruction a day. We are required to meet in online classes for 2 hours a week, 2 more if we have a hard time in the first 2 hours.  The online classes are over and above the daily lessons that are required.  We are required to complete at least 7 subjects a day/5 days a week, many of which are supposed to take 45 minutes to an hour to complete.

While the lessons are not overly difficult (in fact, we have had to jump way ahead to get Ty to a place where he feels challenged) ..the massive amount of work and hours required to complete it, is not worth the amount of resources and stress that is demanded of a 5 year old :)

In other words...school is important and a very worthy thing to put our resources into, this plan however, is requiring more than its fair share of what is needed to meet our goals. Its too stressful!


The task is a good one (just like keeping the house clean, finding time with God, doing laundry) but this way, this method, this plan makes the task more difficult that it needs to be.

I feel like I can say that about alot of things that I have already deemed worthy of my resources! I know that keeping my home is a worthy task. I know that keeping the laundry caught up is worth my effort. I know that managing my budget well is worth the time and energy I give to it ...but it is still more stressful that it needs to be?

It may be time to get a new plan or get control of that area!

Can you think of any areas of your life to apply this? I hope so! ...our resources are too limited to be giving them to things that can just as well be done in better, more efficient ways.

Making Plans

In the spirit of getting a new plan...at one point I had my calendar in my SLJ but that system wasnt working as well as I would have liked. So, I had to get another plan! :)
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Here is what I have done with my board ..its been great to have all of my stuff in one place.

One thing I have found helpful is that I have put a sticky note on my board ..its for those grocery or household items that I think of we need next grocery trip. I write on there, and then just grab that note off the board when its time to go to the store.I had that in my SLJ but it was getting lost, and I found it a pain to have to get the book out to write it down in there. Then, I didnt remember to grab it when I went shopping. I like this better.

Also, I have written down a verse of the week. We are working on "Do everything without complaining or arguing." Philippians 2:14 ..its nice to have it right there to remind me of the truth, as well as to review it with the kids.

The headings I have on my note side are: Daily (drink water, one load of laundry, Bible study, etc.), Weekly (scour bathrooms, elliptical x3, catch up budget), Honey Please Do, Memory Verse, Prayers, and To Do.

Some of things I have on my calendar are meals planned for each day, birthdays/anniversaries, playgroup activities, school activities, daily prayer focus (each day of the week has a different family member), and deadlines.

I use different colors because I am very visual, so having it designated that way is very helpful. It helps remember things, and I find it less cluttered.

Everyone would not find this helpful, but I do. Whatever works for you, that is what you should do!

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Get a new PLAN!

As a planner, and a person who really appreciates a well ordered system. I find myself applying them any where and any time I can. I love to see a system work well for me, and even better when it can translate to other people...clearly :)

I have found that often, my Stress List is comprised of things that require some kind of system in order to get it under control, get it done or even to get rid of it!  It may be a system to keep my housework broken down into easy to get done assignments for myself, a plan for getting laundry done, a system to store my coupons or a way to manage my finances.  All of these things require a plan of some kind, a way to do it that I find helps me get my goals met.

The thing is, that since every system or plan requires our resources (time, energy, effort, finances, etc.) and since our resources are dynamic from day to day ...then, often we have to be willing to adjust the way we do things to meet what resources we have to give to that plan or system.

Meaning, you can have the best plan in the world ...if you dont have what it takes to fulfill that plan, then it aint so great!

Sometimes, we have plans that work great given one set of resources but it doesnt pan out when our resources shift. Perfect example:  when I had no children, I had a beautiful system for keeping my home decluttered, deep cleaned, picked up and ordered all the time or with little effort. NOW, that system is a laughable since I have three boys who make any effort at "decluttering" a joke! :)

Sometimes we let things stress us out because we insist that a plan works for us, and we keep doing things in a less-than-effective way. Accepting that a plan may not work any more, and developing a new one may be a great way to reduce some stress. Or, accepting that someone ELSE's plan may not work for us! How many times has this been a source of guilt and stress for me?! ...alot. The same plan doesnt work for everyone and even your best plan may not always work for you.

Amy, from Raising Arrows is a homeschooler of "many children", and has some great ideas along these lines which she shares on her blog. I loved her statement she made regarding a schooling system that she had raved about at one point:

"I wanted to say one thing here because I used to be one of those people who lamented the fact that I NEVER seemed to find something that worked well enough to stick with it for a hundred years. It is okay to change things. It is okay to admit something you raved about it doesn’t work anymore. It is okay to search for a solution that does work."


Its hard to give up on a great plan, but if it doesnt work then its creating stress and taking away your ability to use your resources effectively.

What things on your Stress List could use a system revamp? 

Resource Management: Get a new PLAN

This strategy works well with getting control of things ...sometimes getting control of something is a matter of coming up with a different, more effective way of doing it. Again, just having a plan sometimes is enough to destress a bit!

This post was originally posted November 11, 2008
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Sometimes, when we look around and find that what have been doing for awhile isnt working anymore. Maybe there was never a plan to begin with, or maybe its just that your family, schedule or priorities have changed over time.

I know that when I was child-free, by routines were much different. My home would get cluttered, but was easily gotten under control. When I cleaned, it stayed that way on the most part. The messes were mine, or my hubby's ..which were easy pick up and put away in their clearly designated home. My routines were simple, through and completely inefficient for a home with children in it.

When I had one child, I got stuff done during naptime. It stayed clean, if not only for naptime. I had one child's worth of clutter and stuff, and only one to follow after. His schedule was mine, and I worked around it. That routine was slightly more complicated, but worked well for the time period. It does not work for our current crazy home of playdates, two kids, a dog, a cat, a part-time working mommy, an extra bedroom or two, church responsibilties ..etc.

If I held myself to the standard of either of those previous women, I would fall dreadfully short.

Even since I have had two children, our schedule has changed and evolved as naps changed and disappeared. Our plans have changed as kids get older, can take on responsibilities or their needs change. Our plans need to change as the kids have their own out of the home activities, and those have to meld beautifully their siblings, fathers and everyone's physical needs.

Plans need to change.

So, if things are not working right now ...ask, is it the plan itself that is flawed?

I could be that the routines that you have always used, and have always worked, may need revamped!