I am hiding.
She is out of town (yes, I asked!) - and I am taking advantage of an early morning wake up to get out the door and hide before the kids woke up. I was expecting to spend some quiet moments to collect my thoughts before my day started. I was hoping to get refocused after several days of guilt-worthy, hormone-induced, mommy temper tantrums that have left me feeling defeated and frustrated with myself.
I need some quiet to refocus, recommit, realign and get back in the game.
What is amazing though, is that quiet is not what I have gotten at all! I am amazed with the degree of sound that is coming from the nature around me. No people are around yet, and yet its so loud I am having a hard time thinking! ...there are birds of every shape and size, they are fighting, mating, calling, antagonizing the cat, etc. The squirrels are hopping all over the trees around me, and the vine on this side of the fence is teeming with lizards and bugs of every shape and size. I hear bees buzzing around the flowers around me. There are dogs barking in the distance, and then not in distance when I hear my own dog barking at the aforementioned squirrels. I give away my hiding place when I hollered at him, and now he is on the other side of the fence whining.
Quiet? Not so much.
Yet, this is still a good hiding place.
Me and God are here. He reminds me that it is never perfectly quiet. There is always something that needs doing, someone who needs me to comfort, teach, touch and guide them. My days are always full of busyness because they are full of people that I love, and who love me (though slightly less when I am such a bad mood :) In this season of my life, there will never be perfect quiet. But God is still accessible through the noise and the chaos.
Certainly, seeking quiet is a blessed thing. And, there are ways to surround ourselves with less noise (as we should surely seek to do). But God is reminding me this morning that my life is busy. Its chaotic. Its crazy. Its the life He has for me today, in this season.
I have to hide in him, even amidst the chaos. I must seek the quiet of my soul, even when the world around me is far from quiet. My spirit need not mimic the craziness of the world around me ...because I have everything I need.
God knew what I needed to hear today.