I have a cycle that I go through about every 6 months.
At the beginning of the cycle I am a harried mess of having too much to do. I am feeling overwhelmed with my to do list, my days feel overfull, I am frustrated and feel as if my most important jobs are not being done well.
In the middle of the cycle I start feeling inspired to action, and I start sweeping away everything. I withdrawal from people and tasks I have taken on, and I do what I call "crawl in a hole." Its my defense mechanism for those moments when I realize I have created a monster of my busyness.
The last part of the cycle before starting all over again, is when I have cleared my schedule, have had a moment to rest, feel capable of adding things back in and re-emerge from my hole. I start adding on again, start picking back up commitments and returning to my busyness one little bit at a time. Thus, the cycle eventually starts over again.
I know that about myself. I know the extremes that I can go to and I honestly have been fine with it. At least, until this last time around.
I was a the peak of the cycle, where I start actively getting rid of everything and I crawl into my hole. I started giving things up in the way of commitments, mentally checking things off my list that were resource-consuming and working back towards my hole where we get back to basics again.
This is not a bad thing - honestly, I feel like we need to do it sometimes. But I have learned something this time through that I didn't really know before.
Its not always possible to clear my board and start over again at square one. There has to be a balance between nothing, and getting things done. There must be a balance between crawling in a hole and being productive. I must find the right balance between doing too much, and doing too little.
I started to crawl this time around, and realized that while I did need to pull back a little it wasn't time to withdrawal completely. While I did need to mentally let go of some feelings of being responsible for certain things, I have some tasks I need to complete. It seemed that each time I let go of something to free up those resources something that I feel that God needs of me right now would fill in its place. I feel like as I am letting go, there is more there I need to take hold of.
I read this this morning ..."Be careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Ephesians 5:15-16
I love the messages I read here ...
1. Be careful how you live ...be Purposeful
2. Not as unwise ...be Wise
3. Making the most of every opportunity ...be Active
4. Do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is ...be Discerning
In this phase of my life, I have whirlwind of busyness. Busyness is necessary to maintain the good work I am called to right now. In order to find the balance, we must all consider our days in light of the Lord's will for it. We must be purposeful in each use of our resources, we must be wise and discerning in the choices we make ...but we must be active in His kingdom.
God's active and the world's active aren't the same - God's "active" says to be discerning in what we do, not foolish. It is not blindly doing for the sake of doing. It is attentive to opportunities to advance the work of the kingdom, but in so much as it is God's will for our lives.
I pray that today you find the balance ...I know its hard some days, but God is faithful!