It is a well known fact that those we spend the most time with,we are the most like.
As moms and wives who so desire that degree of order, accomplishment, purpose, completion, affirmation and peace in our home lives..we need to find those who are like-minded. We need to seek out those friends and sweet souls who encourage that focus on the those priorities ..and distract from added stress.
We certainly cannot eliminate all our connections who cause, rather than help ease, stress. Certainly not. But, the majority of our friend time and social energy CAN be determined to be with those who do so.
We need positive influences, and reminders who encourage us to see above the stress of this moment ..to the blessings that cause the stress, to that with is worthy of our energy, and those things that need to be pushed aside for their lack of worthiness.
There cannot be enough value placed on a friend, mom, sister, fellow mom or all of the above who is in the trenches with you..seeking to manage the chaos that come innately with this blessed life. When she is one who will cheer on your little victories, challenge your areas of weakness, and allow you to mourn your failures.. you have a true friend.
You will be, indeed, too blessed to be stressed.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
DeStressor: Take the Day Off
Its not always feasible, of course.
But some days, when things work out that you can. Take the day off.
I mean, dont neglect the most important needs (everyone STILL needs to eat, take their naps, etc.) but some days the best thing you can do for you and for the kids..is to rest.
Stay in jammies, dont worry about the dishes, dont worry about the laundry, call off the playdate, and play.
Eat lunch on the floor with the kids.
Read with the kids, and dont worry about what is not getting done.
Dont get caught up in anything that you cant immediately respond to a request to play tag or hide n Seek (watch their little faces light up when you stop what you are doing and run after them!)
Go for a leasiurly walk, and talk about anything and everything they want to. Dont worry about getting home to vacuum (I would suggest getting dressed for that one ;)
We cant do that every day of course. We wouldnt take care of our homes the way we need to, if we dropped everything and played tag everyday. But sometimes, we all need it.
Today, I called and told my Mommy group I wasnt coming. The boys and I stayed in jammies for the morning, then went for a long walk to the playground. There, we walked around the pond and played pirates on the slide. We talked about being a leader, and Ty's dreams last night. We came home and had a "lunch time picnic" ..no TV, just talking.
It was what we all needed to do today.
Now, I am gonna go rest on the couch and read a book, while Ty plays on "pbskids DOT org" ..his words, not mine :)
Hope you can steal a quiet day soon ...its really good for you!
But some days, when things work out that you can. Take the day off.
I mean, dont neglect the most important needs (everyone STILL needs to eat, take their naps, etc.) but some days the best thing you can do for you and for the kids..is to rest.
Stay in jammies, dont worry about the dishes, dont worry about the laundry, call off the playdate, and play.
Eat lunch on the floor with the kids.
Read with the kids, and dont worry about what is not getting done.
Dont get caught up in anything that you cant immediately respond to a request to play tag or hide n Seek (watch their little faces light up when you stop what you are doing and run after them!)
Go for a leasiurly walk, and talk about anything and everything they want to. Dont worry about getting home to vacuum (I would suggest getting dressed for that one ;)
We cant do that every day of course. We wouldnt take care of our homes the way we need to, if we dropped everything and played tag everyday. But sometimes, we all need it.
Today, I called and told my Mommy group I wasnt coming. The boys and I stayed in jammies for the morning, then went for a long walk to the playground. There, we walked around the pond and played pirates on the slide. We talked about being a leader, and Ty's dreams last night. We came home and had a "lunch time picnic" ..no TV, just talking.
It was what we all needed to do today.
Now, I am gonna go rest on the couch and read a book, while Ty plays on "pbskids DOT org" ..his words, not mine :)
Hope you can steal a quiet day soon ...its really good for you!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Stressor ALERT: Comparing
Us girls are the WORST at this, arent we?
I know from personal experience that this one is a doozy.
How often do we compare ourselves to those around us, usually to those girls who seem to be doing SO much better then us? All the time.
And, it stresses us out.
It does me. On some level I know that they are probably stressed about their messy closets, dirty dishes, or their laundry being behind. But, usually it just seems like EVERYONE besides me has it SO much more together than I do.
Perhaps you are one of those gals who people look at and think, "she has it so together." Then you KNOW its true! The reason that I KNOW that people who seem to have it together, probably DONT..is because I have gotten that a couple times lately.
That made me laugh ...because if those people could see my house right now... :)
Thing is, is that we are naturally bent on comparing ourselves. We do it both to make ourselves feel better ("at least I'm not THAT bad..!") and to beat ourselves up. Neither are good ways to look at ourselves.
Our families are unique to us, and them. Their needs are specific to them. Our goals are different than the gal who seems to "have it together", and the our homes have different dynamics. We are us, and its okay
True that we need to make the effort to be the best we can be always. But the best we can do changes from day to day, and minute to minute. Sometimes the best we could do is all the laundry, unload the dishwasher, do the homework with the kids, prepare a weekly menu and plan the grocery shopping trip. Other days, putting away last weeks laundry is the only thing we can call anything close to an accomplishment for the day. Our best changes as the demands grow and change.
As I speak to myself, as well as anyone who may be willing to listen, I am reminded that we need to only compare ourselves to our own priorities, our own standards and guidelines for our home. We need only compare ourselves to the woman, mom and wife that God wants us to be ..not what we wish we were.
We wish were organized, clutter free, put together, well planned, frugal, energetic, healthy, and able to meet every need of those we love. God wants us to love Him, and the families He gave us. He wants to keep focused on what His job is for us today..which may have nothing to do with laundry.
So, just for today, dont compare yourself to anyone. Only look to the things you feel are the most important for this moment. Dont worry if that other gal made cupcakes, while folding towels, while clipping coupons, while updating her address book, while making herself beautiful, while reading her bible, and washing her baseboards. She probably tripped on the dog the second you looked away, and dropped all that stuff on her perfectly pressed clothes :)
I know from personal experience that this one is a doozy.
How often do we compare ourselves to those around us, usually to those girls who seem to be doing SO much better then us? All the time.
And, it stresses us out.
It does me. On some level I know that they are probably stressed about their messy closets, dirty dishes, or their laundry being behind. But, usually it just seems like EVERYONE besides me has it SO much more together than I do.
Perhaps you are one of those gals who people look at and think, "she has it so together." Then you KNOW its true! The reason that I KNOW that people who seem to have it together, probably DONT..is because I have gotten that a couple times lately.
That made me laugh ...because if those people could see my house right now... :)
Thing is, is that we are naturally bent on comparing ourselves. We do it both to make ourselves feel better ("at least I'm not THAT bad..!") and to beat ourselves up. Neither are good ways to look at ourselves.
Our families are unique to us, and them. Their needs are specific to them. Our goals are different than the gal who seems to "have it together", and the our homes have different dynamics. We are us, and its okay
True that we need to make the effort to be the best we can be always. But the best we can do changes from day to day, and minute to minute. Sometimes the best we could do is all the laundry, unload the dishwasher, do the homework with the kids, prepare a weekly menu and plan the grocery shopping trip. Other days, putting away last weeks laundry is the only thing we can call anything close to an accomplishment for the day. Our best changes as the demands grow and change.
As I speak to myself, as well as anyone who may be willing to listen, I am reminded that we need to only compare ourselves to our own priorities, our own standards and guidelines for our home. We need only compare ourselves to the woman, mom and wife that God wants us to be ..not what we wish we were.
We wish were organized, clutter free, put together, well planned, frugal, energetic, healthy, and able to meet every need of those we love. God wants us to love Him, and the families He gave us. He wants to keep focused on what His job is for us today..which may have nothing to do with laundry.
So, just for today, dont compare yourself to anyone. Only look to the things you feel are the most important for this moment. Dont worry if that other gal made cupcakes, while folding towels, while clipping coupons, while updating her address book, while making herself beautiful, while reading her bible, and washing her baseboards. She probably tripped on the dog the second you looked away, and dropped all that stuff on her perfectly pressed clothes :)
A little encouragment ...
...goes a long way :)
After feeling like I didnt have a whole lot to offer anyone in this department the past few weeks, I got a sweet bit of encouragement from a sweet sister. I do have a few things I have been thinking about..Hope the next few posts are encouraging and energy GIVING! :)
After feeling like I didnt have a whole lot to offer anyone in this department the past few weeks, I got a sweet bit of encouragement from a sweet sister. I do have a few things I have been thinking about..Hope the next few posts are encouraging and energy GIVING! :)
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