A Great Time

I remember this time when I was a kid when my family went on a rare vacation. Growing up as one of many kids of a preacher of small churches, vacations were few and far between. They were much appreciated though, when they happened, and oh so memorable.

One particular memory was on a trip that took us over several states, visiting old friends of my parents in Sun Valley, Idaho. I remember it was beautiful. I remember we drove through mountains and through some amazing valleys. I remember natural hot springs and lots of awe-inspiring river rapids.

One of our adventures was a mini-ride on one of those rivers. Our host had tied a rope to an innertube, taken us down to some river rapids and was giving all of the kids (they had some too) a chance to ride the rapids while being hauled back to safety if fear got the best of us or it was just someone else's turn. It meant the adults got to sit on the bank and watch us kids have a great time. At some point they talked my mom into a ride - she got on the innertube and they let her out into the rapids. She rode them for a bit, I remember her squealing with fun ...we liked it.

Then, the rope let go.

Mom was whisked away on the rapids. Before we knew it she was gone - and the daddies were racing down the bank to get her. I remember one of them jumping in the car and following her via the road that lead beside the river.  Before we knew it all of the kids were standing on the bank of the river with someone else's mommy, no daddies and one momma down.

We were terrified. I remember that something bad was gonna happen if my daddy moved that fast.

By the time the daddies came back with mom, my little kid brain had imagined all kinds of horrible fates for my mom. Anything from never to be seen again, to a giant waterfall at the end of the rapids where she plummeted to her doom. Kids brains are good at that kind of thing.

When she did get back though, I was relieved all at once - mom was grinning ear to ear.

 I remember very clearly her saying .."That was so fun. If I wasn't worried about how I was gonna get back I would have had a great time!"

Its funny the times when things like that come back to our present mind. I have thought of those words about 100 times in the last three weeks. 

We have been in our new Tennessee home for three weeks today. We have honestly loved just about literally, every minute of it. In these three weeks we have worked to set up our new home, cleaned up the property we will be borrowing for a bit, painted rooms (the "princess room" had to go ..per a couple of little boys), explored our new area and had a blast doing all of it.

Meanwhile, we have been working on getting a job. I think in most other areas, this would not have been a problem a one since both my husband and I have ICU nursing experience. This is most of the time a hot commodity and not often do we have to look to hard for positions anywhere. Positions here have been a little harder in coming, being as the small town pace we have committed to means that things move very slow. People come, get jobs and then don't leave. They come and stay...which is great ..unless you are looking for a job :)

Things will pan out, but not in the time frame we had hoped. We are looking at 4-6 weeks from now until we have an income, if the hospital closest to us offers us a position. Otherwise, we just don't know. Instead of moving here and starting work immediately, we are settling in for the long haul of no income forthcoming for the immediate future.

These are the rapids of life, I think. The ones when things start getting bumpy and rough, when things start getting a bit bouncy and holding on tight seems more necessary. Yet, I can't help but remember mom's words ..."If I wasn't worried how I was gonna get back I would have had a great time!"

Not having a job does have its benefits ...like, unlimited time to get acquainted with the new amazing landscape around us. Lots of time to get our home and property in order, making it ours. Full attention from daddy, who gets to sleep in every day if he wants to. No time schedule. Fishing whenever the boys want to. Evenings, as late as we want to, catching fireflies and sitting around a fire. Lots of time to explore. Naps every day.

If we werent worried about how we were gonna make it, it would be a great time! :)

Really, we are gonna make it just fine. Looking back I can see now how God has been preparing us financially for this time.While we wont be spending our savings on things we had planned on, things will still be working out just fine.

We are learning to live without things like a new microwave, paint for the pink master bedroom (seriously, THAT will be my "yay we have a job!" purchase), unlimited supplies of wasp spray, 10 different kinds of cereal, karate lessons, and another boston fern for my front porch (there is a hole ...it is screaming for a fern). 

Even without an income, though, we have been blessed with a very nice dinner out with friends AND a trip to the Lego store (thank you "Luke's Gaga"!), a trip to the chiropractor for daddy (yay for FSA money that MUST be spent by next week!) and an upcoming trip out of state rerouted to our front door so we wouldn't have to spend the money to visit with some of our favorite people.

The trip is great, even still. God is good. His plans are good and we are grateful for rides like this - that can be SO fun, if we are able to not worry about how we are getting back.

The Quiet Life

Well, we have been in our new Tennessee home now for about 10 days. While the separation was difficult (we left behind so many wonderful friends) and while the start up was a bit rough (quite a bit of work was needed to make this space ours) we are well on our way to our new life here in the country.

This morning I am learning to live the quiet life...

 "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands,  just as we told you,  so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."  1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 

I am still working on defining what that means, what with three little people whose mission it is to be the polar opposite of quiet running around. I am still working on defining what "mind your own business" looks like to the compassionate Christian woman and what it means to not be "dependent on anyone".

I feel like those lessons will be easier to come in this space, with these trees and that pond within view.  These are lessons I am looking forward to learning while I on my front porch sipping coffee.

So far, this quiet life is a good one.

The Present is a Gift

It's funny, how when you are moving towards wonderful things your sights seem to be so focused on moving forward that you forget to enjoy the scenery where you are.

As we are picking up speed, and the Steeds are actively moving towards our long term plan of a move closer to family, we are so excited about what is coming. We are closing in on a week, when we will be loading up the truck and heading out.

Despite our excitement for what is coming, we are sad to leave those who we love so dearly here. I have never had a geographical home base, until now.

Being the daughter of a minister/missionary, we moved every 2-4 years growing up. Home was where mom was, and wasnt as much about our house or the town we lived in. We were always home as long as mom, the Amish dolls and the yellow pot were all in the house or in that town.

All that changed when me and my newlywed husband moved to SC just about 9 years ago. We moved here pre-kids, just getting things started. We have had three babies here, my husband has started a new nursing career and we have made many wonderful friends.

My natural tendency is to focus so heavily on what is coming that I dont remember where I have been, or what I have around me right now. Where I have been is years of wonderful friendships, a loving church family, a steady-flexible full-time then  (very) part-time job in a Critical Care Unit (where I came pre-babies, left for a bit, came back, left again and came back ..then brought my husband into the craziness!), a close drive to the beach, many opportunities to serve and a place to make roots that will only extend slightly to the west with our move to Tennessee.

We have had the most wonderful 9 years here.

Where we are currently, is spending a week of child-mandated playdates, mommy coffee-time, getting together with friends as much as possible, help with childcare, friends collecting boxes and sharing in our excitement even as they lovingly mourn our coming separation. We are so blessed.

Where are going is closer to family - we will be living withing 20 minutes of my husbands family, and within driving distance of much of my family (the ones who arent in Singapore). We have a lifestyle of simplicity, and a wonderful rental house waiting for us. We have a bright futures and wonderful blessings just waiting to show themselves.

God is good. His plans are perfect - past, present and future.

I know that so many of us are looking foward to good things. With Christ comes hope and anticipation of good plans to come. Let us never forget the blessings of the moment, though. Let us never forget to embrace this moment's joys for tomorrow's hope.  Dont forget to dwell, to embrace where you are, where God has you right now in this moment. Its a good place, and its part of the plan too.

{Deep breath}. 

7: Stress - Part Two

We are moving in 10 days. In a week and a half we will be moving our little family from Charleston, SC to Nashville, TN. SC has been our home for 9 wonderful years. My husband I moved here as newlyweds, made three babies here and here we decided to embrace the simplicity of life it turns out we both crave. We are moving closer to family, and towards good plans that God has planned for us.

We are so excited about our next steps ...God is good.

This week will no doubt be one of the most stressful ones of our year so far - we have an abundance of packing, sorting, getting rid of (after all, we also fasting from excess in our possessions ..a great time to think about that is when you are packing it all up into individual boxes!) and other details (like getting  a JOB!) to think about as we prepare.

What a better week to focus on the best stress reliever ever?

Part One of the 7: Stress fast was a week or so ago. Part Two will be this coming week where I will focus more diligently on taking time to embrace the seven pauses that JH talks about in "7: an experimental mutiny against excess"

It will be awesome to see how focusing on God will affect this week of stress :)

I will post in real time this week ...

Day One - Week Two

One of my favorite pauses is The Awakening Hour. Its the first one of the day, and it is the one I have found is the easiest to do. That is, assuming I beat the kids up and get to enjoy some quiet before the day begins. On my prayer blog (my version of a prayer journal) I have taken more time to focus on this time of day, at least in written form. 

I love to ponder what the day holds, and to ask blessings on all that both we and God have planned for us. I also love the "new mercies every morning" part. This one strikes me especially as a blessing because the week since we started the moving process I have woken up every morning around 4am in a panic. My brain won't let me sleep, and I keep rehearsing lists of things I need to do and things I should have done already. Its also in this hour, in my compromised mind and heart that Satan takes a chance to remind me of all my failings in the day past. He reminds me of my harsh words, and my unkind gestures towards my kids. He recalls my weaknesses and highlights for me in 3D color. 

The Awakening Hour is my chance to put all those things to rest - to give the reasons for anxiety to God and embrace the promise of new mercies on this day. 

Thank You, God for new mercies. 

Day Two - Week Two

Today was one of the most stressful ones so far in this move process.  It seemed always fated when my alarm would go off to remind me of a pause, since they seemed to ring at the times when things were peaking and the stress was mounting. 

Yesterday, during Twilight Hour, we sold our little car. It had been posted on Craigslist for 10 minutes before I got the call from the guy who bought it.   Coincidence? Maybe, but I think God was working on it for us! :)

One thing that I am noting, as I had noted my last week to really work on it, is that a "pause" often is just that. It is not an hour of prayer, or a full-fledged devotional. It often can only be a small pause in the day - a deep breath where I give it all to God and then jump back on the crazy train. 

But even these small moments are beneficial - they are heart and mind focusing. They, more than once, have stopped a downward spiral to anxious/fearful thinking. I didnt observe each and every pause today. Often they came in the middle of a phone conversation or something where I couldnt really focus my brain the moment. I will work more definitively pausing tomorrow - even still, the last pause of the night before I drift off.  Good Night.

Day Five - Week Two 

As the weekend approaches, the last long weekend before our big move (we pull out a week from today), I am grateful for reminders to pause this week. 


My most difficult pauses are the noon time one (The Illumination Hour) and the early evening one (The Twilight Hour). These ones seems to pop up at the most stressful parts of our day when even a short pause seems crazy. These are some of the loudest times of our day - with things being a bit nuts and usually attitudes are the least productive for a good, thoughtful pause. 

I guess it's these times when recognizing these pauses are the most important - but man is it hard to go from yelling at kids to standing before the throne of God with a humble and contrite heart. Its hard to go from 75 to 0 in seconds flat. 

How crazy is it that such moments are so hard to come by? And how sad that its my own state of mind and state of heart that makes it hard? How wonderful to one day remain in such a state of heart as I am in now, when at the beginning of the day when my heart is humble, submissive and willing to lay anything and everything at the feet of Jesus?  What a day when these pauses are just a supplement to my hearts constant prayers and when these pauses do not stand in stark contrast to my current state of mind?

Wrap Up:

Well, according to my phone and its reminders I have been working on using the 7 pauses for about three weeks. Yes, these are literally some of more stressful weeks of my life this far in 2012 - but the pauses have kept God and the True Source of Peace in the forefront of my mind through all of them.

We are moving in three short days. Things are coming down to the wire - we have all that little, irritating stuff left to do.  In order to survive it all, these pauses are going to be most necessary. 

While my first line of defense against stress is to do what we need to do to get rid of the things that make us that way, there are so many times in our lives when getting rid of those sources just doesnt work. So often we find ourselves in the midst of chaos that we have no control over, that is nothing about how we managed anything, or how organized we are. Its just part of life.

These are the moments when we have the ability to tap into the unlimited supply of God's grace and peace. These moments are the ones where peace makes no sense, and that's why we end up in praise to God for providing it anyways.  

The 7 pauses were a great chance for me focus on that - to stop in the middle of my chaotic day and remember He whose child I am, stressful moments or not. 
 

7: Stress - Part One

Stress. Well, fasting from stress is pretty much my thing.

My desire to separate my life from the stressful stream that surrounds us is what started the "Living Peacefully Less Stressed" effort. It's the motivation behind the Everything You Need bible study and speaking topic.

JH takes a totally different approach, however to her fast from stress than I have. Her fast is more focused on bringing in moments of peaceful quiet, rather than getting rid of stuff. She works in her month to incorporate 7 'pauses' into her day, each with a purposeful mindset of prayer.

Taking times throughout the day to pause, to reflect and to pray draws the spirit into a place of calm even amongst the chaos of our daily stresses.

Now JH puts this fast at the end of her list of fasts. It is the last one on her list and clearly it fits there perfectly for her. I love her month of embracing less stress. I found her chapter on stress and the seven pauses such a blessing I couldn't put those at the end of my list. I have actually been working on them ever since I read it.

My posting for this week will be two parts ...Week One (also, Part One), is the week or so ago that I started implementing the pauses. Week Two, (Park Two) is this week in real time. This week will be one of the most stressful ones of my year so far so I wanted to really focus some attention on stress and the pauses.  I thought you many want to do that with me :)
 
I am looking forward to making these pauses part of my days in my week!

Day One -Week One

The seven pauses that JH calls us to are focused on intercession, asking for wisdom, requests for blessing, recognizing moments of awareness, offering gratitude and several more purposeful mental reflections at set times of day.

I set my iphone to the times of day that each 'pause' corresponds to. I hope to use my phone to help me focus more, rather than distract me. With the need to fit 7 pauses in within my waking hours, I am reminded every few hours to pause and reflect. Being as my phone with me 100% of the time, my alarms will help remind me to take those moments ..maybe even to put my phone away to do it (insert my feigning shock).

I will admit that this feels a little weird, it feels like I am praying all the time.  Hm.. seems like there is something in the bible about that ...

Day Two - Week One

Kim sent me a journal for my birthday today! She has broken it up into seven sections, each with a simple illustration and wording noting each of the 7 pauses. She has also written a prayer and some of the verses given in the book.  I am excited to have a place to go to help center my mind, and a simple place to jot down prayers when I take my pauses.

Today, using the alarms on my phone I was able to at the very least have a simple pause to recognize each of the times.  Sometimes it's just a deep breath, but I can tell that those are helping center me a bit.

Day Four - Week One

Two different times today I have thought to pause just seconds before my alarm goes off! I am anticipating those moments that I get to pause and reflect for a moment.  Yay me.

I am finding that The Twilight Hour is one of my hardest times. This is during the busiest, most frustrating parts of my day.  The "Twilight" hour corresponds perfectly with the time when my two year old is at his grumpiest, my kids are at their hungriest, my husband is at his most needing to get out the door for his night shift at the hospital,  dinner is the most needing to be on the table and I am over all of it.

Of course, this pause is really the one that I need the most. Its the one the my mind is least ready for, though. When that alarm goes off I will not lie and tell you that I literally give God an eye-roll.  

Really? Right now you want me to pause?

Joshua is screaming, Canon is talking my ear off with an occasional crying fit, Ty is bouncing off the walls and every elevated surface, Adrian is watching the news loudly because of the noise level, I am (trying to be) cooking dinner, Josh just pulled one of the plates off the counter, I have to wash some of the dishes just to feed people, the oil is smoking and I think I am going to cry...and you want me to pause.

Okay. Fine...but just so you know this is a sacrifice.

Day Six - Week One

We just got word that we will be moving in three weeks! AGH! I am so excited for what God has planned for us! 

I can't help connect this week of focused prayers to the timing of God's movement for us. We have been anxiously waiting for his encouragement to make this move, and after a week of focused prayer I feel he has answered it perfectly. 

These pauses will no doubt come in handy in the next three weeks especially!

Day Seven - Week One

Ya'll, I have been pausing a lot since yesterday!  ...first, because my anxious heart needed it, then because God is showing off and I can't help but give pause for praise and thanksgiving!

Get this. Back in April we visited our new little town, hoping to soon have plans solid enough to move forward with our plans to move there. We looked at properties and rentals and dreamed about our new little life. We did find a house and property that we thought would be perfect for us, though we couldn't actually rent it because the timing wasnt right just yet. 

It had three acres of property, a very nearby fishing pond, woods to play in, a short drive to work/church and a community pool. It was a comfortable size for our family, and included a space for a school room. It had a front porch that overlooks an incredible view ..it was wonderful.

When we got home we contacted the owners and shared our love of their home and asked them to let us know how things go as far as their renting it. We heard back from them pretty quickly, saying they would love to rent their house to us and they would let us know. We chatted back and forth over the next few weeks - they offering to hold the house, us deciding that we would let God lead us as to timing of the move and passing up on that offer. We knew that God would help it be available when the time came if it was the house for us. 

Yesterday, after finding out that our house here in SC was rented, we contacted the owners of that home immediately. We were sad to find out the house had been rented 3 days before! Bummer. Yet, we knew that God had a plan for us.   I observed all the pauses yesterday! 

Then, not four hours after we contacted the owners ...they wrote us back. Would you believe that the people who had rented the house just three days before needed out of their lease? What? 

Yes, indeed. The house is ours {insert giddy squeal}.

[Insert here a week or so of stressful moving details ..cancelling utilities, setting up new ones, working on jobs, packing, cleaning..etc. Fast forward to 10 days before we pull out from our home of 9 years ....]

Then, here is a part 2 regarding a fast from stress :)