Moms Like Us: Brandi

I think that so many of our mommy stresses are related to the fact that we sometimes feel alone in our struggles and frustrations! I know that there is much relief for me those times when I am reminded that we are all in this together, and that we all struggle with these same things on a regular basis

So, for our second week of Moms Like Us ...

{Meet Brandi}

 A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR BROOD ...

I have been greatly blessed to be Ben's wife for eight years and Riley and Wesley's Mommy for two. Did I ever imagine thatGod's blessings would bring me all the way across the U.S., far, far from family and friends....only to give me more amazing friends and family? Nope. 

But here we are, happy as can be! Ben is a teacher, as well as a football coach and after-school mentor. I don't love the long days of football season, but then I remember the wonderful payoff of summertime and lots of extra Ben/Daddy time forus. That, plus the great example he is for so many high school aged students who could use all of the good examples that they can get. 

I get to work PRN in Physical Therapy, which I am so thankful for. I still get to work now and again, but mostly I get to be home with our sweet little muffins. The boys are twenty seven months, and that
should be enough said as to their ever-busy, wonderfully exciting toddler-hood. (Are they even still toddlers? I guess they're almost preschoolers already.) 

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRUGGLE AS A MOM? 

  ...time management. Nothing new there I know, as all moms have that struggle. But I have an image of the Mommy I want to be in my head, and I find it tricky to be that woman every day. (o.k., sometimes it's tricky to be that woman for hours in a row if I'm being honest.) I really try to remind
myself that chores like keeping the laundry up, or keeping the kitchen clean are important pieces to the whole of a happy home. Spending time with the boys is so important, and I do so much better at it when I've done the other not-as-exciting must-be-dones around the house. I do agree that Mommyhood is about self sacrifice, to an extent. I try to remember that God's reward for serving Him in the role of a
good parent is going to far outweigh the small self sacrifices like missing out on extra hours of scrapbook time for instance. I also think of what my good friend Courtney says in that these times are "a season" in our lives. These precious Mommy days will soon become
Mom days when the boys won't need as much, and I may find myself
missing all of the needing of Mommy. 

***I'll come back to this list during nap time!***

(Courtney here ...I had to leave that in because who cant relate to that?!)

 

 WHAT IS THE PURPOSE YOU FEEL GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO?

I sometimes feel that God's purpose for me is to truly be the quiet and gentle spirit in my family. If you knew my extended family, and my tendency to not be so quiet or gentle at times, you'd understand when I say that I'm a work in progress. Being the only girl in a family with three brothers, I can see now that I'm more of the sounding board, ear to bend, shoulder to lean on for my siblings. I'm definitely beginning to understand what selfless sacrifices my Mom must have made over the years and now enjoy her as a friend as much as my mother. When I think of Ben and my family, I also think of the role I aspire to lead...quietly and gently. I think about my boys' future and the girls they'll become friends with and especially the one's they'll marry and I pray that the character they'll look for in those girls will be God-centered. I further pray that they'll naturally be drawn to that because of the example they've been given from their Mommy, not inspite of their Mommy. The role of a quiet and gentle spirit in my marriage is again, a work in progress. Perhaps Ben could better answer about my success in that regard when looking for a true picture. I feel that real strength is sometimes being quiet and gentle, although that's not what the world would say. In the meantime, I'm still working on myself.

WHAT RESOURCES DO YOU FEEL GOD HAS GIVEN YOU ON A DAILY BASIS, THAT ARE UNIQUE TO YOU?  

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of "unique resource" is having twins. Now honestly, in the beginning, meaning most of year one, I probaby wouldn't have thought of 2 x everything as resourceful. But the beauty of God's timing is that we live in His unfailing patience, and after having been through a time of higher stress, or difficulty, He's sees us through and causes us to grow. By no means am I saying that I've mastered the art of Mommyhood, but I feel like I'm seeing now how 2 two-year-olds can in fact be a wonderful resource. Do I feel like that every minute? No. Do I feel like that when they are best buddies and learn and play together? Yes. Am I especially feeling that way when they have the same nap times every day? Absolutely.

A YAY ME FROM THIS WEEK?

My "yay" for me moment was Thursday evening when I decided to give the boys and early dinner, pack them up and take them out to watch Ben coach his Gators for their Thursday night game. Packing up the boys can be a chore that sometimes outweighs my good intentions of outings. (Silly perhaps, but true...don't judge me too harshly.) There came a point when I knew we'd be late to the game and I still needed to stop for cash to get into the game, ect. I made up my mind to go however, and we made it, better late than never. The game itself stunk for the Gators, but was a "touchdown" for the Greene team. The boys could not have been more well behaved. I love them, but they're two....I knew it could have gotten hairy. Riley sat on my lap, and Wesley sat on the bench for the entire second half, without a single whine, cry or complaint. They cheered for Daddy and the Gators, they ate snacks and best of all they snuck up and suprised Ben after the game as he didn't know we were coming. Ben said several times that that was the best part of his entire day. "Yay" for Mommy. :)

DO YOU MAKE YOUR BED EVERYDAY ? .. No. Do I wish I was that neat and tidy, yes. I'd say I average around 30 to 40% of the "make my bed each day" goal.

ARE ALL YOUR DISHES DONE RIGHT NOW? ...Yes. I am more of a dish fanactic than a make my bed fanatic. For some reason, (o.k. my Mom is that reason) I just have a need to have a cleaned out sink. If I'm at the sink to rinse, then I'm there to also get the dishes in the dishwasher and get it running. Then empited. My dishwasher is currently running.

HOW ABOUT YOUR LAUNDRY? Yes. I am on top of the laundry curve at the moment. There are times when I'm parting through laundry like Moses through the Red Sea, but today, I'm caught up. Ask me tomorrow, and I'd most likely have a different answer.

WHAT IS A VERSE THAT GROUNDS YOU WHEN YOU ARE FEELING OUT OF CONTROL?

 I like John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world."
Not to get into a political debate, but at times things in this present time seem to be overwhelming. I can't help but think back on OT times when nations rejected God and He let those nations fall. Our only guarantee is that because Jesus overcame the world, in every sense, with His Spirit we can have peace and courage.

Another favorite of mine is Jesus' prayer in John 17. In verses 19-21 Jesus says "For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You Father are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me."  I've read it over and over and one day it just hit me in a way that highlighted the fact that this recorded prayer was Jesus praying for the apostles, and US....we are the "but for those also who believe in Me through their word" people. (perhaps not a revelation to you, but it just hit me as so personal) Jesus was praying for us, specifically, all of those years ago, just before carrying out God's will of the cross. It's a written account of His personal prayer to His Father and they were talking about us, AND wanting us to share in Their glory. Whoa. It just really stands out for me.

{Thanks for sharing Brandi!}

a Discerning Heart

 {this posted originally on June 8th, 2008}

One thing to consider when you are being aware of your stress levels, and when you are identifying areas that do cause it; is that there are times when what we feel to be a "not good" feeling, could be from a good place.

Meaning, I think the Spirit can sometimes use that feeling to remind us that we arent where we need to be.

Example, when I spend alot of time on the internet, or on the phone with the girlfriend I start getting that tension, "not quite comfortable" feeling. I notice the kids getting antsy or the things not getting done that need to be.

Another one. On days when you are trying to get stuff done, working on your "stress list", or even doing things for others and the husband or the friend keep interupting. You are getting stuff done but your stress seems hardly less than when you started.

Is that Satan making me feel that way, or the Spirit telling me I need to refocus my energy right now?

My mom used to call that tension a "caution". It was a feeling like things werent quite right, or that she needed to pay closer attention to what was going on. She used it usually in reference to feeling that way about big decisions, but I think that it applies here also.

I think that the Spirit can cause my heart to feel a sense of "not rightness" to make me pay attention to what is going on in the moment, and what I may need to change.

So, in being made aware of our stresses and thus making a plan to change that, we need to also consider the source beyond the activity itself. Not only is the fact that I am on the internet at certain times a day cause stress, and here is the solution; but WHY is that causing me stress?

Is it the Spirit prompting me to focus my attention elsewhere?

Remember, when Jesus first spoke of the Spirit to his disciples before his death, he told them

"But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." John 14:26 (NIV)


I love the language of this passage as The Message puts it, "I'm telling you these things while I'm still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace." John 14:25-26


I believe that Satan can use stress a powerful tool, but so can the Spirit.

How can you discern the two apart?

Praying always for a discerning heart is a sure fire way to keep your eyes open. Because, He promises He will always come through on that one.

Then, be aware of your purpose and take your priorities to heart..

You know that if you have a purpose, and as a Christian you do, then you know that there are expectations and a list of priorities that come with the job. If what you are doing, or NOT doing is causing stress then first always question whether that something conflicts with that purpose?

Even good things are not the best if there are better things to be done. Did you get that? Its true.

Ministering to someone in need is good, but not the best if you are taking time or resources away from your family when they need it. .

Remember your purpose, remember to listen to the Spirit ..but first pray that you will be aware..

AND, remember that stress itself is not a SIN, its when we allow it to consume us to the point of it being a power tool for Satan that we are in the wrong.

 

{Welcome ifellowshippers ..thanks for visiting this Wednesday!}

Tips On Tuesday: Deep Breath

Honestly, I dont have any earth shattering tips today ...

But, I am reminded how helpful just a deep breath can be sometimes.

With the change in curriculum for our little guys, getting used to new materials, some changes in our daddy's work and school schedule and everyone having a variation of a cold in the Steedly house..many deep breaths have been needed to center our minds and focus our anxious hearts the past couple of weeks.

So, dont forget to just breath today...most of the time, it works for me :)

It may be the best tip you get this Tuesday! :)

Congrats Hazel Nut!

I am so excited to say congrats to Hazel Nut from the The Happy Nut House (LOVE her play on words ..hilarious!) for winning The Velveteen Mommy giveaway! 

Hazel made me laugh when she wrote ..."Now that I am on the spot, I can't think of any good stories to share, lol. I was awfully proud of myself tonight when I didn't say "Shut your mouth and eat your food" which is an oxymoron that makes me giggle every time I say it. Instead I told the kids "Don't open your mouth unless you are putting food into it" It was a simple and proud moment for me"

I am sure Hazel has lots more "nutty" stories to share with her 5 little Nuts running around! 

Thanks for participating all..loved the stories and the comments!

Moms Like Us: Kim

I think that so many of our mommy stresses are related to the fact that we sometimes feel alone in our struggles and frustrations! I know that there is much relief for me those times when I am reminded that we are all in this together, and that we all struggle with these same things on a regular basis! 

I would like to begin a weekly feature, called Moms Like Us where we will meet a mom who we can relate to on a deeper level. 

Our first Mom Like Us, is Kim - she agreed to be a guinea pig for our first week! 

{Meet Kim} 

We asked Kim some questions, so that we can get to know her better. Here are her responses ...

A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR BROOD
I have been married to Greg, a truly amazing man, for a little over seven years, and I have two children, Luke (4), and Anna (2).  A few weeks before we were married, my husband was hired as the youth minister to a church outside of Charleston.  We moved there from Tennessee a couple months after we married, and have lived and served here ever since.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST STRUGGLE AS A MOM/WIFE?

  Prioritizing.  Sometimes it seems that being a mother and homemaker are mutually exclusive tasks.  It seems like I can't clean without neglecting my children, and I can't play with my children without neglecting my house!  For awhile after having kids, I struggled with guilt:  whatever I was doing, I felt guilty that I wasn't doing something else.  If I was doing laundry, I needed to be playing with my kids.  If I was playing with my kids, I'd feel bad for not serving more at church.  If I was serving at church, I was worrying that I was neglecting my marriage.  Looking back, it was kind of ridiculous, and I'm getting better at praying about priorities and then letting God lead me through each day.  Still, it is sometimes hard even now to prioritize my time.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE YOU FEEL GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO? 

Hmmm.  My purpose on earth is to glorify God and to point others to Him.  At different phases of my life, that has meant different things. Right now, I believe that it means pouring love into my children and raising them to love and obey the Lord; making my home a haven both for my family and for others; and making all of my resources available to God to use as He sees fit.

WHAT RESOURCES DO YOU FEEL GOD HAS GIVEN YOU ON A DAILY BASIS, THAT ARE UNIQUE TO YOU?   

Well, I can't say that any are unique to me, but He has given me time, money, a decent work ethic, and a moderate amount of talent at writing.  Probably my most unique "resource" is my husband.  As a youth minister, he is gone a lot of nights and weekends, but he takes advantage of whatever flexibility he has in his schedule to serve his family.  The effort he puts into taking care of the household (mowing the grass, being the family "banker," washing dishes, etc), and the attention he lavishes on my children make my job soooo much easier!  Like I said earlier, he is truly an amazing man.

A YAY ME! FROM THIS WEEK 

I have had much more energy this week b/c I have been eating healthier.  Baby carrots and hummus were both half off at Bi-Lo this week, so they have become a regular snack.  Feta cheese and apples were also half off, and so I have been eating spinach salads with feta and apples for lunch, instead of my usual soup and sandwich.  I guess this is more a "Yay, Grocery Stores!" than "Yay, Me!" but I've been so happy to eat healthy things that I got for really great prices!

DO YOU MAKE YOUR BED EVERYDAY?
Yep.  I try to, for my own sanity.  Oddly, the days I'm most relaxed and content with my life are the days I might let it go undone.  But on the average day, seeing a nice made-up bed throughout the day just makes me happy.

ARE ALL YOUR DISHES DONE RIGHT NOW?
Nope.  Unless we have a baking day or have guests over for dinner, dishes in this house only get washed once a day, at the end of it.  I clean up after each meal, and rinse everything, but I leave the dishes in the sink.  And then...my wonderful husband washes them after I go to bed!  Seriously, I did not ask him to do this.  He's just that good.  So I go to bed every night with dishes in the sink, and then wake up to a nice, clean kitchen.  It's a great way to start the day.

IS YOUR LAUNDRY CAUGHT UP RIGHT NOW?
No, but I'm getting close:).  I am hoping to catch up by the end of the day.  I've actually found that once I get on top of it, it's pretty easy to stay "caught up."  Unfortunately, the only thing EASIER is to get behind again.  Go figure!:)

WHAT IS THE VERSE THAT BRINGS YOU BACK TO THE GROUND WHEN YOU FEEL OUT OF CONTROL?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Prov. 3:5-6.  I find this verse to be very freeing, b/c it clearly defines my role, as well as God's.  My role is to trust God and to acknowledge Him.  His job is to make my paths straight.  I don't have to understand everything or figure it all out on my own.  I just have to trust and acknowledge God.  That's always a comfort to me.

Thanks Kim, for sharing!

If you want to win a book by another Mom Like Us ..check out The Veleveteen Mommy giveaway!