No! No!

Ah, yes. We are moving swiftly into the months where my less than 2 year old (18 months, actually) is learning how to say an emphatic "no!no!" ..which, truthfully is still cute at this point because he is also learning to couple that with a pretend mad face (no worries, we arent letting on ;).

It's a good lesson to be learning along with Joshua, because saying "no!" is a huge part of living peacefully. 

Depending on your personality, it may be easier or harder to say no in gernal ..but we all have to do it in order to keep any degree of order in our lives. We must master the ability to say it at the right times, in the right ways just like our little ones do.

How do we know though? How do we know when to say "no, thank you", when to say a more firm "no." and when to say adamantly "no! no!"

Here are some rules I live by ...

* If it is not a good use of your resources ...say no. 

It may be because the activity in question is ungodly, or because it has no value in the kingdom of God but if it is not a worthy use of what God has given you for his work - then dont use what you have for that activity.


* If you don't have the resources ..say no.

How many times have you known full well you didnt have the time, energy or ability to do something and you still said 'yes'?  Don't deny it. I know you...you are me.

One of the best things you can do for yourself and for your family is to admit you are out of resources. It doesnt do you any good to add more to what is needed from the limited resources you have.

* If you are doing it out of guilt ..say no.

This is one is easier said than done, I know. But, if you are only saying 'yes' because you will feel guilty otherwise, don't do it. Chances are, you will be using resources that you either don't have or can't afford to use towards it...and for all the wrong reasons.

* If it takes away from something better ...say no.

A friend told me once that  'not every good thing is the best thing.' ..that has helped me say no to many things that I may have been tempted to otherwise.

There are alot of "good" things we can do, but if it keeps us from doing the "best" things then it isnt worthy of our resources.

So, how?

I think that is specific to the situation and the person. I have found that some people need to be let down more easily than others. Some, have to be given a more direct approach.

I have found that saying in whatever way they need, "to be honest, I do not have the resources for that right now" usually gets me out of most things ..be they a request to do a job, to participate in an out of the house activity, a friend's Thirty One party or whatever!   I find that most people can relate to that!

Saying no is a necessity if you are determined to use your resources the best way you can.

Do you have other tips on how to say no? ..do tell! 

{Welcome, ifellowshippers ..so glad you visited!}