Mind Control: Guilt

How often do you struggle with feeling guilty about something that you have or havent done?

Is it that you didnt spend enough time with your kids today? ..or ate the WHOLE piece of cake, instead of the bite you planned on? ..or that you havent read your bible today? ..or that you havent called your mom this week? ...or that you havent opened all the mail? ...or that you havent gotten through the kids clothes this season? ...or that you didnt use coupons on this shopping trip? ...or that you didnt workout this week? ...or that you ... the list goes on and on ...right?

We use alot of brain power feeling and thinking about feeling guilty for stuff. We talk ourselves into ways that we fall short in our own minds and we reprimand ourselves for it ..dont we?

I do. Alot.

I compare, and when I feel like I have fallen short of that ..I feel guilty. I dont want to, but I do.

Its a natural feeling for us, I think. It is what happens when we are not paying attention. We condemn ourselves for all that we think we dont measure up to.

But .."..there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," Romans 8:1

Here is why ..."And so he condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature (which is constantly causing us to feel guilty about stuff) but according to the Spirit." vs. 3-4

But how ..? "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires (to compare, judge, condemn, wallow and condemn some more); but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires." vs. 5

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace,"
vs. 6 ..I am sold! :)

When those thoughts that condemn us, and against a measure that is not godly ...then we need to refocus our thoughts and ask the Spirit to fill our minds with things of His promises.

We arent in the position to judge ourselves, and therefore we should not find ourselves guilty quite as easily as we do.

If you are asking God to guide your mind, actions, time and resources ..then God will do so. Let the other stuff go, and trust that God's grace will cover all those areas where you fall short.

Easier said, than done. I know. But its worth the effort ..I promise. :) (says she who was sitting here feeling like a failure as a mom today because she fell apart into hysterics when her 4 year old tracked spanish moss all over the floor she just spent an hour vacuuming :)

Mind Control: Comparisons

Comparing ourselves to others is dangerous on several levels.

To compare ourselves to others in a way that leaves us feeling inadequate is not fair to us, as we are using a standard that is less than perfect.

To compare ourselves to others in a way that leaves us feeling superior, is not fair as it also uses a standard that is less than perfect :)

Comparisons are natural, as we are constantly measuring ourselves up to those around us to determine if we are being accepted, fitting in, are "good enough" according to the variable standard of those around us. We desire to measure ourselves, and be found at least as good as everyone else.

Often, as women when we look and compare, we walk away feeling less than adequate. We chose to look at the women who have cleaner homes, better behaved children, more money, a better-looking husband, or a thinner body. We use this comparison tendency to cut ourselves down, and increase our expectations of ourselves to unrealistic levels. We use our mental, emotional, physical resources to seek, or at least desire to be like someone other than us.

God does not desire this for us, though. He doesnt even desire us to compare ourselves TO ourselves..that isnt a good enough ruler either. He asks us to only compare ourselves to His ruler, which is not based on the "natural" desires of our heart which are so variable and wish-washy...."We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise" 2 Corinthians 10:12

We cant even trust ourselves to act as measure, we arent worthy of such a task...

"For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends." 2 Corinthians 10:18

Comparing ourselves to others, for whatever reason is not a good use of the mental resources that God intends to use for teaching us things of Him.

Remember, when you struggle with these or any other oppressive thoughts that cause you question your worth ..."We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

Mind Control: Perfectionism

I dont know you, necessarily ..but I would guess that I would right to say that, like me..you may struggle with perfectionism at times.

Now, am not a perfectionist. Everything I do doesnt have to be perfect ..I am okay if my house is less than stellar all the time, I dont mind a wrinkle or a stain on the kids clothes, my projects dont have to be without mistakes. I am not a perfectionist.

I do, however, struggle with perfectionism.

That is, if I dont like it when I cant do something all the way, or to the degree that things are just the way that I want to do them, I dont want to do it :) Or, I mentally determine that something isnt worth doing if I have already failed to be able to do that thing, perfectly.

For example, I often talk myself out of drinking the water I need to today, because the day is half over and I havent even started on my 8 glasses. Or, if I dont have time to fold and put away the laundry right now, then I will put it off until I do. Or, if I cant start, work on, and finish cleaning out the closet all today ..then why start?

I know I am not alone in this one :)

I am learning, a little at a time, that my need to complete those things all at once and to the standard that I really want ..may be unrealistic considering my resources at the moment. It may be unrealistic for me to think that any time in the next three years will I have the time it takes to start, work on and finish the garage. But, I may have an hour today, and a couple of other days this week.

I may not have the time to fold and put away the laundry right now, but how bout just folding ..that is one part down, then only one to go next time I have a free minute. I may have not had a sip of water all day, but I can still get 3 in before I head to bed and that is better than none all day.

When I started really paying attention to how I often I let this thought process keep me from doing what needs doing, I realized I do it alot!

There is another one I use alot ...I am already 5 months behind in reading my bible every day this year, so why start now? I have missed every other week of the bible study at church up to this point, and I dont want to jump in midway! I have already busted my chances of getting three workouts in this week, so I will just try again next week! :)

We need to make sure that our need for perfection doesnt keep us from doing what we need to do right now, and learn to be okay with doing things less than perfectly. Sometimes, part way is better than not at all, and doing a little here and little there will eventually get you to your goal.

Remember, that God never called us to be perfect. He is glorified in our unperfectness, in fact.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
2 Corithians 12:9

Doesnt that take some of the pressure off? :)